When is Ok to tell them...

how much you like them? There is all the BS that goes along with dating. Though I don't really feel like there is any BS with Travis, I'm still unsure of all the dating etiquette. I'm really liking him, a lot. But I don't know if it's OK to tell him that yet. It hasn't even been two months. I surely don't want to scare him away, or make him think I'm getting too serious too fast. 'Cuz I'm not. I like the pace we are going. It's nice, it's comfortable, it's easy. Nothing feels forced or insincere. It's all good. I know he knows that I like him, I think that is obvious. And I know he likes me, again, obvious. Maybe we don't need to say anything at all? I guess there's that little part of me that wants to hear the words, just to be sure.

The reality is that I haven't stopped smiling in weeks. I'm loving every single minute we get to spend together. Had another really wonderful date on Sunday. The best part of it was that we didn't really do much and still had fun. Just hung out, watched a movie, made dinner, watched the Lakers game. It feels so good to be so close to someone. It feels so good to trust someone again. It feels good to feel so safe.

OK, this is getting more sappy than I intended. Just wanted to ramble on about stuff. I just have to trust that we're going in the right direction as long as it keeps feeling so good ... and I do trust that.

Travis

About a month ago I met Travis for Sushi, it was our first date. But it wasn't the first time we met. We actually already know each other, kinda. We used to be neighbors on Ave. Monterey. He and the X used to surf all the time, a little strange, but still OK. We have several friends in common. Well, no one that either of us still communicate with. But still, it gave us both a good base of the kind of people we are.

Anyway, we've been pretty regular since then. Seeing each other twice a week. Exchange phone calls and texts each day. Usually a good night phone call too. I'd say I am smitten ... I know, that sounds corny. He's a super sweet guy. We have lots of fun together, but still really mellow. He keeps me smiling.

Did ya notice the graphic? Yep, that's a big 'ole 4th of July firework! It's all good :)

Treasure Mapping

This is a process we were doing at my womens group. Bascially you plan out what you want to achieve in the year to come. Some people get real creative and make big posters with pictures, drawings, etc. I didn't have time for that, and I kept it simple. I jotted my thoughts/goals/wants down on a piece of paper. Anyway, the idea is that if you put it out there for the universe it will happen. Buddists say that if you chant your desires, they will be fulfilled. I have a seperate list I "chant" or read, mediate, focus on, about the kind of man I'd like to have share my life.

So here it is world, my treasure map for 2008. These are in no particular order:

love
peace
happy
health
food-cooking
organic - nutrition
money - finances
Jack
Luke
friendship
beach
divorce
safe
me-time
lose weight
excercise
smiles
garden
content
knit
passion
laughter
vacation
family
home - clean - laundry
ocean
job
happiness
fulfilled

LOVE is the center of my treasure map and around it I surrounded it with the qualities I am looking for in a partner
They are:
relaxed
tall
dark
handsome
financially stable
attractive
protector
caring
morals
loves children

We'll Just Call him $12.65

I thought this one had potential. We met for the first time on Friday night. Totally last minute, I almost didn't go, but I was glad I did. He is super cute in person, way better than his profile, so that was a plus. We enjoyed our first date. I actually felt bad during a lull in conversation when I was trying to think of something to say, but not pepper him with questions like he was on a job interview, I blurted out "don't first dates suck". Eek, oops, sorry. He said "you aren't having a good time??" and looked at me all hurt. The fact was I was having a good time. Anyway, I explained myself and we laughed, but yikes. Anyway, he walked me to my car, we had a very nice kiss. He said he'd call. I'd rate chemistry as a Fountain, so pretty good, eh. But still wasn't sure if I would hear from him. There were several times during our date when he mentioned this really great sushi restaurant in costa mesa, that I just had to try. Um ok, perfect opportunity for him to say, I should take you there ... but he didn't.

So I go pick up the boys, we get home. I'm nusring Luke to sleep, and I get a text that says I've got an email from him. I smile, feel anxious for Luke just to go to sleep so I can see what he has to say. I finally get to the computer and he's asking me out for Sushi during the week. Sweet. I make arrangements for a baby sitter, it's all good.

So we met at his place in Irvine. He lives in this massive apartment complex in Irvine, nice community. His apartment is very much the bachelor pad. Clean, in bachelor terms. ...Which is OK in my book, since I'm not the best housekeeper in the world, nice to see that he isn't completely anal. We sat and chatted for a bit, then he excused himself to get his laundry. Not a biggie ... but you knew we were having a date tonight. So he comes back we chat a little more, then talk about dinner. He said he doesn't usually do much on week nights (umm as if I'm out on the town??) and would I mind getting some take out and bringing it back to his place and just hang out. This actually sounded fine to me, since I really am not used to doing much on a week night myself. But at the same time, it still seems a little odd. Anyway, we went and picked up dinner at Pei Wei, it was good. The rest of the evening we talked more, and watched a little tv.

But the more I think about it, I'm bugged. He's quickly become a sparkler. I mean, doing your laundry, chinese take out? I'm not a high maintnence girl, but come one ... he put out a whopping $12.65 for dinner on our 2nd date. Underwhelming...

First Dates

I had another one on Friday night. It went pretty good. One of the better first dates I've had. But I'm still skeptical. I mean, we're on our best behavior on a first date. LJ's another one that seems too good to be true. But I'm going to go with the flow here and see what happens.

Did you know that country club life really exists? I honestly thought it was something that they did in soap opera's. Had no idea people actually went to "the club" for dinners, dancing, parties, etc. Who knew? LJ might be another one that is out of my league! At the very least it will be a fun ride :)

I Spoke to Soon

Well back to Match I go.

SIGH.

I'm not sure why it's so hard for men to be honest. I mean, why did you tell me you were off match for good if you weren't going to stay off? And why when I saw you on there did you lie about it, twice? And why didn't you just tell me you wanted to keep dating a little when I asked you if you were SURE you wanted to take your profile off? Bad news Soundman.

BZZZZZZZZ

NEXT

And just cause I'm feeling a little mean and bitchy, I'm going to share the song that has been playing in my head for a few days. 'nough said.

Happy Valentine's Day

So I did a little searching on the web for the history of St. Valentine's Day, and well, I was surprised. Surprised to find that there doesn't seem to be just one story. It looks like there were several St. Valentine's to which this holiday is a tribute. And none of them have much to do with LOVE. Interesting.

I've never been a big Valentine's day fan. I mean it's nice to acknowledge and remember the one you love. X wasn't a real romanitic, so maybe my expectations are low. I always did a little something for X. And Jack too. But rarely would I get more than a card in return. Which was ok, I was never heart broken by it ... like I said, low expectations.

I don't know if Soundman has anything planned, we are going to see eachother. I don't know if we are going out or staying in, either way is fine. But he absolutely made my day today with a text first thing this morning that said "Happy Valentine's day!" Ahhhhhh, so sweet. YAY. I'm easy to please, aren't I??

From the Beach to the Mountains

The move is complete. Well the physical act of moving is. I still have to unpack and organize my entire condo. Uncle R was able to hook me up with this really nice condo in Portola Hills. I live in the fricken mountains again ... or atleast it feels like it. I think the elevation is only about 1400 feet, but that's pretty significant since I was literally at sea level. It's really pretty out here, nestled at the base of Saddleback, there should be plenty of wild life around. Jack gave it the ok too, so that is cool. 2 pools in the community, and a great park just around the corner. I think this place is going to work out just fine. A fresh start, and one more chapter into my new life.

43 Things

I recently put this list together based on a discussion topic of a womens group I'm a part of. I'm sure there are more than 43 things I'd like to do before I die, but for now, these are the ones that come to mind and feel the most important.

1.Be a great mom
2.Raise my children to be wonderful human beings ... spouses, parents
3.Have another child
4.Be a grandparent and touch the lives of my grandchildren the way my grandparents touched my life
5.Be the wife I always wanted to be
6.Fall in Love ... forever this time
7.Be Loved
8.Let myself be vulnerable
9.Completely trust God's plan for me
10.Have a home I'm proud of
11.Host frequent dinner parties ... where I cook all the food
12.Learn to make Sushi
13.Learn proper cutting/chopping techniques in the kitchen
14.Own a really good set of knives
15.Do a better job of keeping in touch with my long distance friends
16.Go to the statue of liberty
17.See all 50 states.
18.Travel the world
19.Vacation in Maldives
20.Learn to Ski
21.Learn to play the piano
22.Own a piano
23.Finish my SCUBA certification
24.To always send a proper Thank You note
25.To live completely Organic
26.Have a good FICO score
27.Save enough money to really retire
28.Help those less fortunate than me on a regular basis
29.Eat sushi in Japan
30.Read all the classics
31.Make a difference in someone's life
32.Always see the beauty in all of God's creations
33.Pet a tiger
34.Swim with a dolphin
35.Attend a birth
36.Be a lactation consultant
37.Be a good friend
38.Learn another language
39.Learn to Ice Skate
40.Ice Skate at Rockefeller center
41.Remember to cherish everyday
42.Make amends with those I've wronged
43.Be truly happy with myself

New Years Resolutions Anyone?

I don't normally do the resolution thing, but things are changing around here, so why not? I'm sure there are many more that should be on here, but I don't want to let myself down too much by not achieving them ... keep the list short and sweet!

1. Loose the last 10 baby lbs.

2. Loose the last 10 lbs that I wanted to loose before Luke! (The men in my life think I'm going to be too skinny if I drop 20lbs, I've assured them that I'll still be plenty soft & curvy at 125lbs!!! Gotta love a man who loves ALL of me )

3. Meal Planning / Cooking ahead (Cook a couple big meals over the weekends then eat as left overs during the week)

4. Faith - REALLY try to find a church that meets my needs/desires

5. Give up Soda ... namely Dr. Pepper (I don't really want to do this, but I know it's not good for me ... it's my one guilty pleasure ... maybe I won't give it up??)

6. Do a better job of keeping in touch with Long Distance friends & Family

7. Be better at acknowledging the birthday's and anniversaries of my friends an family (I'm already ahead of the game on this one ... got a year membership to AmericanGreetings.com)

8. Write and SEND thank you notes ... I'm just terrible at this, everyone must think I'm ungrateful!

2008 is going to be GREAT

So I haven't posted in F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Not that I had an regular readers, but it's nice for me to keep my thoughts in one place. It's been a year since I've really posted anything of substance...that's gonna change. My mom always told me if I didn't have anything nice to say than I shouldn't say it ... and well this past year, I didn't feel like I had anything nice to say. There would have been lots of swearing at X and saying how much I hate him. True feelings at the time, but certainly not constructive. ANYWAY, I'm starting a new year, and an new attitude (actually the new attitude has been around for a while). Here's what I sent out in my New Years Greeting for 2008 ... this sums things up pretty good, then I'll start blogging for real again!!

This time last year I was quite afraid of what 2007 would bring me, I had no idea what the future had in store for me. I had just found out I was pregnant, on top of facing the sad reality that my marriage really was over. I remember sitting with Kim and telling her how scared I was to be facing the new year and a new life. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to handle it. Kim, thank you for being my rock this year, I don’t think I’d be here in the positive state I am with out you. So here it is the close of 2007, as it turns out it wasn't so bad. I was blessed with another perfect baby boy, and Jack who has been such a treasure and the best big brother in the world. Jack is such a special boy, I don’t think he knows how wonderful he is, so much wiser and stronger than his 5 years of life, he’s definitely an old soul. And Autumn, I need to thank you too … my other rock and voice of reason. You assured me that I would be able to date with a new baby…and you were right, breastfeeding isn’t an issue. So yeah, 2007 has turned out pretty great. There were some rough parts, that’s for sure, but the blessings and sweet memories far out number the negative. It was a year of transition. 2008 will continue to be a year of transition, while I finish finding my old self, and making a new life for my family. I’m looking forward to 2008 and all the new memories and fun which awaits me. I have a couple of new friends, who I'm looking forward to getting to know a lot better. A year of firsts with Luke; his first tooth, his first steps, his first words. First for Jack too, he’s going to playing his first team sport this year, T-Ball starts in February. He’ll also start school next fall. Oh how I love being a mom!

I will ring in the new year quietly and peacefully tonight. I will be thinking of you all tonight, and always. I hope you are looking forward to 2008 as much as I am. The best is yet to come.

Peace
Love
Happiness
Health
Good Will
Fun

All my best,
Gina