When is Ok to tell them...

how much you like them? There is all the BS that goes along with dating. Though I don't really feel like there is any BS with Travis, I'm still unsure of all the dating etiquette. I'm really liking him, a lot. But I don't know if it's OK to tell him that yet. It hasn't even been two months. I surely don't want to scare him away, or make him think I'm getting too serious too fast. 'Cuz I'm not. I like the pace we are going. It's nice, it's comfortable, it's easy. Nothing feels forced or insincere. It's all good. I know he knows that I like him, I think that is obvious. And I know he likes me, again, obvious. Maybe we don't need to say anything at all? I guess there's that little part of me that wants to hear the words, just to be sure.

The reality is that I haven't stopped smiling in weeks. I'm loving every single minute we get to spend together. Had another really wonderful date on Sunday. The best part of it was that we didn't really do much and still had fun. Just hung out, watched a movie, made dinner, watched the Lakers game. It feels so good to be so close to someone. It feels so good to trust someone again. It feels good to feel so safe.

OK, this is getting more sappy than I intended. Just wanted to ramble on about stuff. I just have to trust that we're going in the right direction as long as it keeps feeling so good ... and I do trust that.

Travis

About a month ago I met Travis for Sushi, it was our first date. But it wasn't the first time we met. We actually already know each other, kinda. We used to be neighbors on Ave. Monterey. He and the X used to surf all the time, a little strange, but still OK. We have several friends in common. Well, no one that either of us still communicate with. But still, it gave us both a good base of the kind of people we are.

Anyway, we've been pretty regular since then. Seeing each other twice a week. Exchange phone calls and texts each day. Usually a good night phone call too. I'd say I am smitten ... I know, that sounds corny. He's a super sweet guy. We have lots of fun together, but still really mellow. He keeps me smiling.

Did ya notice the graphic? Yep, that's a big 'ole 4th of July firework! It's all good :)

We'll Just Call him $12.65

I thought this one had potential. We met for the first time on Friday night. Totally last minute, I almost didn't go, but I was glad I did. He is super cute in person, way better than his profile, so that was a plus. We enjoyed our first date. I actually felt bad during a lull in conversation when I was trying to think of something to say, but not pepper him with questions like he was on a job interview, I blurted out "don't first dates suck". Eek, oops, sorry. He said "you aren't having a good time??" and looked at me all hurt. The fact was I was having a good time. Anyway, I explained myself and we laughed, but yikes. Anyway, he walked me to my car, we had a very nice kiss. He said he'd call. I'd rate chemistry as a Fountain, so pretty good, eh. But still wasn't sure if I would hear from him. There were several times during our date when he mentioned this really great sushi restaurant in costa mesa, that I just had to try. Um ok, perfect opportunity for him to say, I should take you there ... but he didn't.

So I go pick up the boys, we get home. I'm nusring Luke to sleep, and I get a text that says I've got an email from him. I smile, feel anxious for Luke just to go to sleep so I can see what he has to say. I finally get to the computer and he's asking me out for Sushi during the week. Sweet. I make arrangements for a baby sitter, it's all good.

So we met at his place in Irvine. He lives in this massive apartment complex in Irvine, nice community. His apartment is very much the bachelor pad. Clean, in bachelor terms. ...Which is OK in my book, since I'm not the best housekeeper in the world, nice to see that he isn't completely anal. We sat and chatted for a bit, then he excused himself to get his laundry. Not a biggie ... but you knew we were having a date tonight. So he comes back we chat a little more, then talk about dinner. He said he doesn't usually do much on week nights (umm as if I'm out on the town??) and would I mind getting some take out and bringing it back to his place and just hang out. This actually sounded fine to me, since I really am not used to doing much on a week night myself. But at the same time, it still seems a little odd. Anyway, we went and picked up dinner at Pei Wei, it was good. The rest of the evening we talked more, and watched a little tv.

But the more I think about it, I'm bugged. He's quickly become a sparkler. I mean, doing your laundry, chinese take out? I'm not a high maintnence girl, but come one ... he put out a whopping $12.65 for dinner on our 2nd date. Underwhelming...

How I Score Chemistry

So I kinda came up with this scale with my sister. It started out because all men I've been on dates with get compared to GQ. The chemistry with him is like the 4th of July fireworks. So one day, Steph and I were talking about a recent date I'd had, she asked what the connection was like. And I respond with a "ehh, ok". Then Steph says, what like a Sparkler, Pickalo Pete, Fountain, etc?

So that's it, that's how I rate men. It's become quite commical, but I'll start adding their ratings as I review my dates. I'll see if I can find some graphics on the web to add.

First Dates

I had another one on Friday night. It went pretty good. One of the better first dates I've had. But I'm still skeptical. I mean, we're on our best behavior on a first date. LJ's another one that seems too good to be true. But I'm going to go with the flow here and see what happens.

Did you know that country club life really exists? I honestly thought it was something that they did in soap opera's. Had no idea people actually went to "the club" for dinners, dancing, parties, etc. Who knew? LJ might be another one that is out of my league! At the very least it will be a fun ride :)

I Spoke to Soon

Well back to Match I go.

SIGH.

I'm not sure why it's so hard for men to be honest. I mean, why did you tell me you were off match for good if you weren't going to stay off? And why when I saw you on there did you lie about it, twice? And why didn't you just tell me you wanted to keep dating a little when I asked you if you were SURE you wanted to take your profile off? Bad news Soundman.

BZZZZZZZZ

NEXT

And just cause I'm feeling a little mean and bitchy, I'm going to share the song that has been playing in my head for a few days. 'nough said.

Happy Valentine's Day

So I did a little searching on the web for the history of St. Valentine's Day, and well, I was surprised. Surprised to find that there doesn't seem to be just one story. It looks like there were several St. Valentine's to which this holiday is a tribute. And none of them have much to do with LOVE. Interesting.

I've never been a big Valentine's day fan. I mean it's nice to acknowledge and remember the one you love. X wasn't a real romanitic, so maybe my expectations are low. I always did a little something for X. And Jack too. But rarely would I get more than a card in return. Which was ok, I was never heart broken by it ... like I said, low expectations.

I don't know if Soundman has anything planned, we are going to see eachother. I don't know if we are going out or staying in, either way is fine. But he absolutely made my day today with a text first thing this morning that said "Happy Valentine's day!" Ahhhhhh, so sweet. YAY. I'm easy to please, aren't I??

Swallows Inn

Soundman did it ... what no man has ever gotten me to do before ... go two steppin' at the Swallows. HA. Now it's not like many men have tried, but lets just say I'm NOT a dancer. I was born with two left feet and the only dancing I've done is drunken club dancing in a mass of people ... so you can't really tell how bad I am. Or the mosh pit at a concert ... though I don't think that is really considered dancing. The Swallows used to be a pretty rough place. You didn't just hang out there. But it is in Orange County, so the crowd has changed. I actually had so much fun, still not a dancer. I'm sure Soundman's toes were sore on Saturday. Oh and I got to meet a few people that he used to go to high school with. That was pretty interesting, they were very nice, and all had VERY nice things to say about him.

Done with Match

So there was a little stress with Soundman before our date last week. I logged on to Match to see when we first met so I could get the blog updated, and was shocked and sad to see that his profile was active. Now I wouldn't normally expect someone to not be active at this point except that he had pulled it down before we even went out the first time, and he told me on our first date that I was his last hope for match, that he was done. So yeah, that sucked. I debated what to do about it all afternoon. We were still on for dinner, so I decided I'd wait for the right moment broach the subject.

He must have been able to tell there was something on my mind. Because he asked a couple times what I was thinking about before we even got to dinner. So the second he asked, while we were finishing our cocktails, I decided to go for it. I thought I'd throw up for a minute, I was scared that I was going to be rejected. Instead, I was suprised at how shaken Soundman was over the confrontation. I mean visibily shaken. He said he didn't want to talk about it at the bar, so we went outside to discuss while we walked to the restaurant where we would have dinner. His strong reaction had me worried, I assured him that I wasn't mad, but I was dissappointed. So we talked it out, he says he could see my profile and it said I was active in the last 24 hours, which should have been impossible because, #1 my profile was hidden, and #2 I hadn't had computer access in the week prior. But he said he could see me, and was immediately as disturbed about it as I was and thought I was back on the prowl, so he was going to go back too. Geez, that sucked. I assured him that I hadn't been on and that I didn't want to be. He said he didn't either. At the end of it all we both agreed to remove our profiles and be done with Match.

A good outcome, I think. I have to say that it is still hard for me to trust, just because I've been so burned in the past. But his reaction and feelings seemed genuine, so I'm going to put the past aside and just try to trust. To be honest I still think it's a little fishy, but he insisted that he doesn't want to be on there. So we'll see.

Oh and just an update, GQ and I have not gone out since he's been in town. Funny how things work out. I had really thought things would go somewhere with GQ, I guess the did ... they went no where! Ha, no that really isn't very funny. But strange. He called again on Saturday night, saying how much he misses me. I just gave it back to him, told him he had a funny way of showing me how much he liked me. And I told him I was dating someone else. So I guess that is another chapter I closed this weekend.

Lost

I should have been packing, but instead I wanted to play with Soundman. Went over to his place and watched Lost while we did lots 'o cuddling and kissing. I like him more everytime I'm around him. Oh and he worked on Lost for 3 seasons, so during the season opener where I got caught up on the show, he also gave me all the dirt on the different actors. So cool.

We've got a date next Friday. I can't wait to see him again.

Miss U

So this is Mr. GQ, yummy isn't he?! Haven't heard a thing since the weirdness a couple weeks ago. Got this text last night "Miss U". Sigh. I don't know what to think. I miss him. But now I've got Soundman on my mind too. Don't know if I can juggle 2 guys, don't know if I want to. GQ called when he was on his way home from the airport, wants to get together while he's here. I think I will see him if I can fit him in with the move and all. I have some things I need to say to him, that I think I need to say in person. I also want to measure the chemistry since I've been dating a couple other guys.

Soundman

Met this totally cool guy on Match. Went on a date Friday night, then lunch on Saturday afternoon. We have many things in common. Parenting/Family seems to be right on target, his kids went to Waldorf/Journey ... yay. Like to eat the same foods, feel the same about healthy/organic cooking. He's a little older than I usually date, but not too old. Looking forward to getting to know him better, hope to have more to write about...

Local Guy

So he sent a text with his picture on his way out of town today that said "Me in morning fair warning" I thought how sweet, replied back "I still like... I'm not a morning person either" and thought to myself ... that's a good sign. Then the other screen comes up for text messaging and shows he sent it to like 6 other numbers. Granted I don't know who the other numbers belong to, I assume other girls he's chatting with. Because why would you send a message like that to your buddy, or your mom??

Is it a full moon or something?

So I have one post almost complete introducing GQ and he trips out on me. Since I'm not sure where that is going to end up I'm not going to bother to introduce him. Not to say that he isn't worthy, just that if there isn't going to be any more to write about him then why bother. Can't say I'm not a little bummed at yesterdays encounter. But if it's supposed to work out, then it will.

Then there is, local guy, haven't gotten to introduce him yet either. Last night we met at the love nest and were getting cozy when he trips out on me too. All the sudden he's not sure about the kid thing with me, since they are so young and his are older. And not sure about where he stands on dating, not sure if he's ready. WTF? Why you on Match dude? Anyway, we did have a good talk and resumed getting cozy. His grandmother just past away and he's heading out on a road trip to her funeral in Utah. He's going to take the few days away to think about things ... we'll see if he calls.

What's going on with these guys? Two in one day?? Oh well, what will be, will be. ...Guess I'm going to have re-up my subscription to Match.com ... bummer.

This Dating Thing

So I said this blog would contain some dating content ... guess I better get on that.

Where, oh where, do I start?? Let's see, how about a little background. I was married to my High School Sweetheart, Mike. We met when I was 14, just turning 15. That should tell you just how much "dating" experience I have. I have never really dated ... ever. So I decided to try on-line dating. I signed up on Match.com. I chose this route for a couple reasons. First, I don't have time to hang out at bars or clubs trying to meet someone ... and I'm pretty sure that isn't the kind of guy I'm looking for. Secondly, it's a good pre-screening process. We can exchange a few emails, and a couple phone calls before we meet. Kind of have a good idea what I'm getting into before that first date. I was amazed at how many guys you can weed out this way.

There are all these weird rules and games, and I'm not sure what the fuck I'm doing. I know for sure, I hate the games, what's this shit where you're supposed to wait to call someone after a date? I mean, you either like them or you don't...period. Why does a guy think he needs to wait 2 days to call me if he likes me? Who made that up? The part that is really hard for me is that I just say what I'm thinking, I'm pretty open ... that is hard for some. But really, I'm not interested in dating 100 guys, I just want to find the right guy and pray that I don't have to date 100 guys to find him. I've been on a handful of first dates, I think 6 or 7. Only 2 of them have gotten to date #2. Let me share some of my experiences ....

The guy with 6 kids - Yes that's right 6 kids!!!!!! OMG, way too many, I don't know if it was a good or bad thing, but they came from 3 different wives. Needless to say I now ask how many kids and how many marriages in the first couple conversations. Also, I didn't like his voice when we spoke on the phone ... that should have been my first clue that he wasn't the one! NEXT

Fat Ass Chiropractor - Now, I'm not one to be a stickler about weight, I mean I've got a few to loose myself. But the pictures on my profile are current. I don't think you really gained 50lbs in the last 6 months ... and if you did, well you've got an even bigger problem. Don't start out lying from the start, is that so much to ask? I was really disappointed in this guy ... I so wanted free chiropractic care...anyway. NEXT

Newly Divorced - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, we've all just come out of a bad relationship. Seriously, you need to be OVER the person you just left before you jump back in the dating pool. I think it's good to review the BIG reasons why you split from your last (one or two) relationships, but it shouldn't be part of every conversation you have with your new prospects. NEXT

Dance Card - First, if you're only 5'9" then say that on your profile ... especially if you are going to tell me you lied on the first date. I'm only 5' 2" ... I'd probably never know or ask how tall you are. No connection after the kiss, but he seemed nice enough ... I would have considered a 2nd date, but I certainly wasn't calling up Kim after the date saying how great it was. So then later in the week I get this email with some lame ass line about his dance card is filling up and has a bunch of dates (dude you're not that cute) to get through, so that is why he wouldn't be calling right away. It was hard to tell if I was being blown off, just weird. Kim and I had a good laugh about it! I mean really, the spark is either there or it isn't, right? If you aren't into me, that is fine ... be honest about it, odds are I'm not really into you either! NEXT

To Date or Not to Date - This guy was all right, we had a fun date. Laughed a lot, there was a little spark. He asked me out on a 2nd date, just after our kiss. And I'm not talking date date, he was willing to go to my work Christmas Party just to spend a little time with me ... Good sign right? Says, I'll call you tomorrow. Ok, cool. I mean, he was nice and I would have liked to get to know him better, but he was kind of runner up to Mr. GQ (we'll talk about him later, he'll get his own post). I felt a little bad about that, since he told me that he doesn't like to date more than one person at a time. I didn't say anything on the subject either way, but did feel a little bad that I would be dating him and Mr. GQ. Maybe he sensed something ... I don't know. But I got an email later in the week, after he didn't call, saying that his heart wasn't into the on-line dating thing, and he was just going to stay single for the time being. First, what does meeting on-line have to do with actually dating someone? Second, why'd ya ask me out if you want to be single? If you aren't into me, that is fine ... be honest about it. NEXT

Well there are two more men to discuss, but these guys have some potential and will be getting their own posts where I'll go into more detail.

Love Quote 1/2/08

Can't say I'm finding these on my own, they're part of my igoogle page content, but some of them are pretty good.

"Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess that's human nature. It hurts so much to be alone that we'd all rather blow up than be single". Kate Welles (Famke Janssen) in Love & Sex (2000)