Happy Valentine's Day

So I did a little searching on the web for the history of St. Valentine's Day, and well, I was surprised. Surprised to find that there doesn't seem to be just one story. It looks like there were several St. Valentine's to which this holiday is a tribute. And none of them have much to do with LOVE. Interesting.

I've never been a big Valentine's day fan. I mean it's nice to acknowledge and remember the one you love. X wasn't a real romanitic, so maybe my expectations are low. I always did a little something for X. And Jack too. But rarely would I get more than a card in return. Which was ok, I was never heart broken by it ... like I said, low expectations.

I don't know if Soundman has anything planned, we are going to see eachother. I don't know if we are going out or staying in, either way is fine. But he absolutely made my day today with a text first thing this morning that said "Happy Valentine's day!" Ahhhhhh, so sweet. YAY. I'm easy to please, aren't I??

Swallows Inn

Soundman did it ... what no man has ever gotten me to do before ... go two steppin' at the Swallows. HA. Now it's not like many men have tried, but lets just say I'm NOT a dancer. I was born with two left feet and the only dancing I've done is drunken club dancing in a mass of people ... so you can't really tell how bad I am. Or the mosh pit at a concert ... though I don't think that is really considered dancing. The Swallows used to be a pretty rough place. You didn't just hang out there. But it is in Orange County, so the crowd has changed. I actually had so much fun, still not a dancer. I'm sure Soundman's toes were sore on Saturday. Oh and I got to meet a few people that he used to go to high school with. That was pretty interesting, they were very nice, and all had VERY nice things to say about him.

Done with Match

So there was a little stress with Soundman before our date last week. I logged on to Match to see when we first met so I could get the blog updated, and was shocked and sad to see that his profile was active. Now I wouldn't normally expect someone to not be active at this point except that he had pulled it down before we even went out the first time, and he told me on our first date that I was his last hope for match, that he was done. So yeah, that sucked. I debated what to do about it all afternoon. We were still on for dinner, so I decided I'd wait for the right moment broach the subject.

He must have been able to tell there was something on my mind. Because he asked a couple times what I was thinking about before we even got to dinner. So the second he asked, while we were finishing our cocktails, I decided to go for it. I thought I'd throw up for a minute, I was scared that I was going to be rejected. Instead, I was suprised at how shaken Soundman was over the confrontation. I mean visibily shaken. He said he didn't want to talk about it at the bar, so we went outside to discuss while we walked to the restaurant where we would have dinner. His strong reaction had me worried, I assured him that I wasn't mad, but I was dissappointed. So we talked it out, he says he could see my profile and it said I was active in the last 24 hours, which should have been impossible because, #1 my profile was hidden, and #2 I hadn't had computer access in the week prior. But he said he could see me, and was immediately as disturbed about it as I was and thought I was back on the prowl, so he was going to go back too. Geez, that sucked. I assured him that I hadn't been on and that I didn't want to be. He said he didn't either. At the end of it all we both agreed to remove our profiles and be done with Match.

A good outcome, I think. I have to say that it is still hard for me to trust, just because I've been so burned in the past. But his reaction and feelings seemed genuine, so I'm going to put the past aside and just try to trust. To be honest I still think it's a little fishy, but he insisted that he doesn't want to be on there. So we'll see.

Oh and just an update, GQ and I have not gone out since he's been in town. Funny how things work out. I had really thought things would go somewhere with GQ, I guess the did ... they went no where! Ha, no that really isn't very funny. But strange. He called again on Saturday night, saying how much he misses me. I just gave it back to him, told him he had a funny way of showing me how much he liked me. And I told him I was dating someone else. So I guess that is another chapter I closed this weekend.

From the Beach to the Mountains

The move is complete. Well the physical act of moving is. I still have to unpack and organize my entire condo. Uncle R was able to hook me up with this really nice condo in Portola Hills. I live in the fricken mountains again ... or atleast it feels like it. I think the elevation is only about 1400 feet, but that's pretty significant since I was literally at sea level. It's really pretty out here, nestled at the base of Saddleback, there should be plenty of wild life around. Jack gave it the ok too, so that is cool. 2 pools in the community, and a great park just around the corner. I think this place is going to work out just fine. A fresh start, and one more chapter into my new life.

Lost

I should have been packing, but instead I wanted to play with Soundman. Went over to his place and watched Lost while we did lots 'o cuddling and kissing. I like him more everytime I'm around him. Oh and he worked on Lost for 3 seasons, so during the season opener where I got caught up on the show, he also gave me all the dirt on the different actors. So cool.

We've got a date next Friday. I can't wait to see him again.

First Tooth

Luke's firth tooth broke through today. He's such a good baby, he's hardly fussed at all with this tooth. I can't believe he's got a tooth already. Seems like yesterday when I held him in my arms for the first time.

Today was also Jack's dental cleaning. So we had teeth on the brain! When we schedule Jack's next cleaning we also scheduled Luke's first dental appointment. They like to start early. LOVE Jack's dentist, they are the BEST.

Miss U

So this is Mr. GQ, yummy isn't he?! Haven't heard a thing since the weirdness a couple weeks ago. Got this text last night "Miss U". Sigh. I don't know what to think. I miss him. But now I've got Soundman on my mind too. Don't know if I can juggle 2 guys, don't know if I want to. GQ called when he was on his way home from the airport, wants to get together while he's here. I think I will see him if I can fit him in with the move and all. I have some things I need to say to him, that I think I need to say in person. I also want to measure the chemistry since I've been dating a couple other guys.

Soundman

Met this totally cool guy on Match. Went on a date Friday night, then lunch on Saturday afternoon. We have many things in common. Parenting/Family seems to be right on target, his kids went to Waldorf/Journey ... yay. Like to eat the same foods, feel the same about healthy/organic cooking. He's a little older than I usually date, but not too old. Looking forward to getting to know him better, hope to have more to write about...

Training Him the RIGHT way

One of the greatest and scariest things about being a parent is your ability to influence your children and breed good habits (the scary part is the bad habits you unfortunately also teach them).

So this morning I'm getting ready for work, I go to drop the tissue that I used to remove my eye make up in the toilet and notice it's been a week since the toilet was cleaned. I don't really have time to do this before I leave for work, but figure I'll go ahead and squirt the bowl with Clorox toilet bowl cleaner and let it sit. Jack comes in while I'm doing this and asks if he can clean the bowl. He then proceeds to tell me how to clean it and shows me how to get down in the hole real good. The following conversation ensues:

Jack "Aren't you glad I showed you that mama?"
Me "Yes Jack, thank you so much."
Jack "You didn't know how to do this before. You didn't know how to get it real clean in the hole"
Me "No Jack I didn't"
Jack "Don't you wish you had known how to do it so good before mama?"
Me "Yes Jack I do. Maybe you should be in charge of cleaning the toilets now since you do such a good job."
Jack "Ok mama, since you don't do it very good. I'm the best toilet cleaner in the world"
Me "Yes Jack, you ARE the best toilet cleaner in the world"
Jack "Can I use wood cleaner to do the seat, cause the seats made of wood?"
Me "Honey, you sure can"
Jack "Aren't you glad I showed you mama, so now when I'm not here, like when I'm with daddy, you'll know how to clean the toilet as good as me"
Me "That's great Jack, but you do such a good job, I think I'll just wait for you to come home"
Jack "Ok, mama, that's a good idea, so you don't mess it up"

Some day Jack's wife is going to LOVE me! Gotta start the brain washin' early!!!!

Moving

Yep, that's right, I have to move. I have to move from my beachy house a block from the ocean. SIGH. I'm really bummed. But I'm also a little excited, I get to make a fresh start. First I won't be living in the home I shared with the X. Secondly, it will force him to finally get all his crap outa' my place. And lastly, as much as I love the location of my house and it seems really cute, the place is a dump. The landlords are just one step up from slum lords.

I don't know where we're going to end up. Looks like I'm going to have to downsize (which is great since it will save me lots 'o $$) but all in all I think it's gonna be ok. The thing I'm REALLY worried about is the dog, most the listings I'm seeing don't allow dogs at all or dogs over 25lbs.

Local Guy

So he sent a text with his picture on his way out of town today that said "Me in morning fair warning" I thought how sweet, replied back "I still like... I'm not a morning person either" and thought to myself ... that's a good sign. Then the other screen comes up for text messaging and shows he sent it to like 6 other numbers. Granted I don't know who the other numbers belong to, I assume other girls he's chatting with. Because why would you send a message like that to your buddy, or your mom??

Is it a full moon or something?

So I have one post almost complete introducing GQ and he trips out on me. Since I'm not sure where that is going to end up I'm not going to bother to introduce him. Not to say that he isn't worthy, just that if there isn't going to be any more to write about him then why bother. Can't say I'm not a little bummed at yesterdays encounter. But if it's supposed to work out, then it will.

Then there is, local guy, haven't gotten to introduce him yet either. Last night we met at the love nest and were getting cozy when he trips out on me too. All the sudden he's not sure about the kid thing with me, since they are so young and his are older. And not sure about where he stands on dating, not sure if he's ready. WTF? Why you on Match dude? Anyway, we did have a good talk and resumed getting cozy. His grandmother just past away and he's heading out on a road trip to her funeral in Utah. He's going to take the few days away to think about things ... we'll see if he calls.

What's going on with these guys? Two in one day?? Oh well, what will be, will be. ...Guess I'm going to have re-up my subscription to Match.com ... bummer.

This Dating Thing

So I said this blog would contain some dating content ... guess I better get on that.

Where, oh where, do I start?? Let's see, how about a little background. I was married to my High School Sweetheart, Mike. We met when I was 14, just turning 15. That should tell you just how much "dating" experience I have. I have never really dated ... ever. So I decided to try on-line dating. I signed up on Match.com. I chose this route for a couple reasons. First, I don't have time to hang out at bars or clubs trying to meet someone ... and I'm pretty sure that isn't the kind of guy I'm looking for. Secondly, it's a good pre-screening process. We can exchange a few emails, and a couple phone calls before we meet. Kind of have a good idea what I'm getting into before that first date. I was amazed at how many guys you can weed out this way.

There are all these weird rules and games, and I'm not sure what the fuck I'm doing. I know for sure, I hate the games, what's this shit where you're supposed to wait to call someone after a date? I mean, you either like them or you don't...period. Why does a guy think he needs to wait 2 days to call me if he likes me? Who made that up? The part that is really hard for me is that I just say what I'm thinking, I'm pretty open ... that is hard for some. But really, I'm not interested in dating 100 guys, I just want to find the right guy and pray that I don't have to date 100 guys to find him. I've been on a handful of first dates, I think 6 or 7. Only 2 of them have gotten to date #2. Let me share some of my experiences ....

The guy with 6 kids - Yes that's right 6 kids!!!!!! OMG, way too many, I don't know if it was a good or bad thing, but they came from 3 different wives. Needless to say I now ask how many kids and how many marriages in the first couple conversations. Also, I didn't like his voice when we spoke on the phone ... that should have been my first clue that he wasn't the one! NEXT

Fat Ass Chiropractor - Now, I'm not one to be a stickler about weight, I mean I've got a few to loose myself. But the pictures on my profile are current. I don't think you really gained 50lbs in the last 6 months ... and if you did, well you've got an even bigger problem. Don't start out lying from the start, is that so much to ask? I was really disappointed in this guy ... I so wanted free chiropractic care...anyway. NEXT

Newly Divorced - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, we've all just come out of a bad relationship. Seriously, you need to be OVER the person you just left before you jump back in the dating pool. I think it's good to review the BIG reasons why you split from your last (one or two) relationships, but it shouldn't be part of every conversation you have with your new prospects. NEXT

Dance Card - First, if you're only 5'9" then say that on your profile ... especially if you are going to tell me you lied on the first date. I'm only 5' 2" ... I'd probably never know or ask how tall you are. No connection after the kiss, but he seemed nice enough ... I would have considered a 2nd date, but I certainly wasn't calling up Kim after the date saying how great it was. So then later in the week I get this email with some lame ass line about his dance card is filling up and has a bunch of dates (dude you're not that cute) to get through, so that is why he wouldn't be calling right away. It was hard to tell if I was being blown off, just weird. Kim and I had a good laugh about it! I mean really, the spark is either there or it isn't, right? If you aren't into me, that is fine ... be honest about it, odds are I'm not really into you either! NEXT

To Date or Not to Date - This guy was all right, we had a fun date. Laughed a lot, there was a little spark. He asked me out on a 2nd date, just after our kiss. And I'm not talking date date, he was willing to go to my work Christmas Party just to spend a little time with me ... Good sign right? Says, I'll call you tomorrow. Ok, cool. I mean, he was nice and I would have liked to get to know him better, but he was kind of runner up to Mr. GQ (we'll talk about him later, he'll get his own post). I felt a little bad about that, since he told me that he doesn't like to date more than one person at a time. I didn't say anything on the subject either way, but did feel a little bad that I would be dating him and Mr. GQ. Maybe he sensed something ... I don't know. But I got an email later in the week, after he didn't call, saying that his heart wasn't into the on-line dating thing, and he was just going to stay single for the time being. First, what does meeting on-line have to do with actually dating someone? Second, why'd ya ask me out if you want to be single? If you aren't into me, that is fine ... be honest about it. NEXT

Well there are two more men to discuss, but these guys have some potential and will be getting their own posts where I'll go into more detail.

Fucking Hilarious!

I came across this site a few weeks ago when I was doing a little research on becoming a lactation consultant.

I'm not sure if you will appreciate this as much as I do if you have not experienced breastfeeding, but this brought me to tears I laughed so hard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouBVK2mVgr8&eurl=http://technorati.com/videos/youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DouBVK2mVgr8

43 Things

I recently put this list together based on a discussion topic of a womens group I'm a part of. I'm sure there are more than 43 things I'd like to do before I die, but for now, these are the ones that come to mind and feel the most important.

1.Be a great mom
2.Raise my children to be wonderful human beings ... spouses, parents
3.Have another child
4.Be a grandparent and touch the lives of my grandchildren the way my grandparents touched my life
5.Be the wife I always wanted to be
6.Fall in Love ... forever this time
7.Be Loved
8.Let myself be vulnerable
9.Completely trust God's plan for me
10.Have a home I'm proud of
11.Host frequent dinner parties ... where I cook all the food
12.Learn to make Sushi
13.Learn proper cutting/chopping techniques in the kitchen
14.Own a really good set of knives
15.Do a better job of keeping in touch with my long distance friends
16.Go to the statue of liberty
17.See all 50 states.
18.Travel the world
19.Vacation in Maldives
20.Learn to Ski
21.Learn to play the piano
22.Own a piano
23.Finish my SCUBA certification
24.To always send a proper Thank You note
25.To live completely Organic
26.Have a good FICO score
27.Save enough money to really retire
28.Help those less fortunate than me on a regular basis
29.Eat sushi in Japan
30.Read all the classics
31.Make a difference in someone's life
32.Always see the beauty in all of God's creations
33.Pet a tiger
34.Swim with a dolphin
35.Attend a birth
36.Be a lactation consultant
37.Be a good friend
38.Learn another language
39.Learn to Ice Skate
40.Ice Skate at Rockefeller center
41.Remember to cherish everyday
42.Make amends with those I've wronged
43.Be truly happy with myself

Luke - 5 months

It's hard to believe Luke is 5 months old today. When I think back to his birth I can still intensley feel my anxiety after they started my epidural, when I wanted to get up and walk out of the OR. Good thing I was numb from the waist down AND strapped to the table YIKES! I was afraid of being a new mom alone. It didn't take long before I knew there was nothing to be afraid of. By the time evening had come around and most of the meds had worn off I already knew what a blessing and special baby he was going to be. Jack will always be my first, and Luke... it was just the two of us our own and we're doing it! I was afraid, I worried that I'd have enough love to be both mom and dad to him, but I soon realized there was nothing to worry about. He is a happy little guy and he KNOWS he is loved so much. He's teething right now, Grammie called to say that he wasn't having a very good day... sorry little man. It's a good thing babies can't remember how much pain those teeth cause. Anyway, Happy Birthday to you Lukey! Mommy loves you more than you'll ever know.

Love Quote 1/2/08

Can't say I'm finding these on my own, they're part of my igoogle page content, but some of them are pretty good.

"Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess that's human nature. It hurts so much to be alone that we'd all rather blow up than be single". Kate Welles (Famke Janssen) in Love & Sex (2000)

New Years Resolutions Anyone?

I don't normally do the resolution thing, but things are changing around here, so why not? I'm sure there are many more that should be on here, but I don't want to let myself down too much by not achieving them ... keep the list short and sweet!

1. Loose the last 10 baby lbs.

2. Loose the last 10 lbs that I wanted to loose before Luke! (The men in my life think I'm going to be too skinny if I drop 20lbs, I've assured them that I'll still be plenty soft & curvy at 125lbs!!! Gotta love a man who loves ALL of me )

3. Meal Planning / Cooking ahead (Cook a couple big meals over the weekends then eat as left overs during the week)

4. Faith - REALLY try to find a church that meets my needs/desires

5. Give up Soda ... namely Dr. Pepper (I don't really want to do this, but I know it's not good for me ... it's my one guilty pleasure ... maybe I won't give it up??)

6. Do a better job of keeping in touch with Long Distance friends & Family

7. Be better at acknowledging the birthday's and anniversaries of my friends an family (I'm already ahead of the game on this one ... got a year membership to AmericanGreetings.com)

8. Write and SEND thank you notes ... I'm just terrible at this, everyone must think I'm ungrateful!

2008 is going to be GREAT

So I haven't posted in F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Not that I had an regular readers, but it's nice for me to keep my thoughts in one place. It's been a year since I've really posted anything of substance...that's gonna change. My mom always told me if I didn't have anything nice to say than I shouldn't say it ... and well this past year, I didn't feel like I had anything nice to say. There would have been lots of swearing at X and saying how much I hate him. True feelings at the time, but certainly not constructive. ANYWAY, I'm starting a new year, and an new attitude (actually the new attitude has been around for a while). Here's what I sent out in my New Years Greeting for 2008 ... this sums things up pretty good, then I'll start blogging for real again!!

This time last year I was quite afraid of what 2007 would bring me, I had no idea what the future had in store for me. I had just found out I was pregnant, on top of facing the sad reality that my marriage really was over. I remember sitting with Kim and telling her how scared I was to be facing the new year and a new life. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to handle it. Kim, thank you for being my rock this year, I don’t think I’d be here in the positive state I am with out you. So here it is the close of 2007, as it turns out it wasn't so bad. I was blessed with another perfect baby boy, and Jack who has been such a treasure and the best big brother in the world. Jack is such a special boy, I don’t think he knows how wonderful he is, so much wiser and stronger than his 5 years of life, he’s definitely an old soul. And Autumn, I need to thank you too … my other rock and voice of reason. You assured me that I would be able to date with a new baby…and you were right, breastfeeding isn’t an issue. So yeah, 2007 has turned out pretty great. There were some rough parts, that’s for sure, but the blessings and sweet memories far out number the negative. It was a year of transition. 2008 will continue to be a year of transition, while I finish finding my old self, and making a new life for my family. I’m looking forward to 2008 and all the new memories and fun which awaits me. I have a couple of new friends, who I'm looking forward to getting to know a lot better. A year of firsts with Luke; his first tooth, his first steps, his first words. First for Jack too, he’s going to playing his first team sport this year, T-Ball starts in February. He’ll also start school next fall. Oh how I love being a mom!

I will ring in the new year quietly and peacefully tonight. I will be thinking of you all tonight, and always. I hope you are looking forward to 2008 as much as I am. The best is yet to come.

Peace
Love
Happiness
Health
Good Will
Fun

All my best,
Gina

A Very Special FO

Newborn Sweater for my baby due to arrive 8/18/07

I'm sure much of my knitting content will involve babies in the coming months...bare with me :)